Alpha Female

So I did something I have never done before. 

I wrote a blatantly honest negative review. I wrote it because my friend pointed out to me that I worry too much, that I don’t stand up for myself. I looked back on my history and realized, she was right.

I think that those of us with anxiety disorders, or heck, many of us with an XX chromosome, spend far too much time trying to be nice to the point of it being to our detriment.

For the most part, I’ve been lucky. The majority of the ladies in my life are what I would describe as Alpha Females.  They don’t take crap. Ever. If something is going wrong, they stand tall and make their presence known. I adore these strong women. I also use them as an shield. When I was young, my mama did the fighting for me. As a teenager, my BFF, Dani, took over that role.


In college, and the years following, I was on my own. I laughed and said nothing when higher-ups in the newsroom grabbed my behind. I walked away quietly when a female boss fired me unexpectedly after I told her I was pregnant. I’m not saying I was a complete doormat. I’m just saying, I like to avoid conflict.

So when a company on Amazon repeatedly promised my order for a therapy blanket for my son was on the way, I waited.  I waited from October until December. Three months of waiting, a charge on my credit card…and I was still checking my mail. Surely it would show up any time now.

That’s when my good friend, Shelly, pointed out that I was getting a little old for this baloney. I needed to stand up for myself and for my son.

Anxiety disorder or no anxiety disorder, polite or not, we need to speak up when someone or something has done us wrong. We don’t need to worry about what the person/company thinks of us. It’s unnecessary to stress about them fighting back and hurting our feelings.

I wrote a bad review – a really bad review. 

It may be a baby step, but it felt good.

What have you done lately to say enough is enough?

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6 Responses to Alpha Female

  1. Shelly T says:

    I love this!! I love that you weren’t rude, you worked hard to get them to do the right thing and when the didn’t, you made sure other consumers are aware of how they operate. Not only did you stand up for you and your son, you made it possible for others to not be taken advantage of.

    Way to go!!

  2. Ryan H says:

    First, I think your one of the most intuitive women I know in that I think you know more about yourself than most people know about themselves. You analyze past situations and learn from them time and time again.

    I can drop a review nightmare on a deserving business or person and not bat an eye. However, writing a bad review is a big step for you, good job!

    • hollyyoumans says:

      Thank you Ryan!!! You are so sweet. So after dropping my own nightmare review, I went on to post an honest book review on Goodreads and only gave the book 2 stars. I’m on fire…lol.

  3. Good for you! I have a difficult time because I’m always trying to be nice, polite, politically correct…etc. Sometimes, you have to stop worrying about hurting somebody’s feelings if you’ve been wronged.

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